Need A Laugh?

50 Best Ever Jokes(Part 1)

1."Typhoid!Tetanus!Measles!"the doctor shouted.Puzzled,a new nurse asked the sister,"Why is he yelling like that?"
The sister explained,"He likes to call the shots around here."

2.Separated from his travel group in the Sahara Desert,a tourist begged a passing nomad for water."Sorry,"said the tribesman."I have no water,but I do have a selection of lovely ties for sale."
"You must be crazy,"the tourist replied.Close to death from thirst,he saw another nomad."Water!"he gasped."Give me some water."
"I have no water,"came the reply,"only these handsome ties that I'd be glad to sell you."
The tourist stumbled on until,to his astonishment,he saw a magnificient hotel far in the distance.Crawling at last into the lobby,he croaked,"Please give me water."
"I'm sorry,sir,"the doorman said."We don't let anyone in without a tie."

3.Judge to accused:"Have you anything to offer before I pass sentence on you?"
Accused:"No,Your Honour.My lawyer took my last dollar."

4.With the storm raging,the captain realised his ship was sinking fast.He called out,"Does anyone here know how to pray?"
One man stepped forward."Yes,Captain,I pray a lot."
"Good,"said the captain."You pray while the rest of us put on life jackets.We're one short."

5.Two cockcroaches were munching on rubbish."I was in that new restaurant across the street,"said one."It's so clean!"The kitchen is spotless and the floors gleam.It's the most sanitary place I've ever seen."
"Please,"frowned the other cockroach."Not while I'm eating!"

6.Late one night,after an evening of heavy drinking,Smitty took a short cut through a cemetery and fell into a newly dug grave.He couldn't get out,so he lay at the bottom and fell asleep.
Early next morning,the grave-digger heard moans and groans.He investigated,saw the shivering figure in the grave and demanded,"What's wrong with you,making all that noise?"
"I'm so cold,"Smitty shivered.
"Well it's no wonder,"said the gravedigger."You've kicked all the dirt off yourself."

7.Pierre and Francois were having lunch together.Pierre was very sad and declared,"My love life is finished."
"These are remedies,"Francois told him."Try oysters.Some people say they are miraculous restorers of virility."
"I am desperate,"said Pierre."I have a date tonight and will do as you suggest.Garcon,bring me a dozen oysters."He downed them,ordered another dozen,then a dozen more.
"You should't overdo it,"Francois cautioned."Oysters are very powerful.Let's go now.Call me tomorrow and tell me how you went."
The next day,the phone rang."Oysters,bah!"said Pierre."They are overrated.I ate three dozen,did I not?Well,only nine worked!"

8.A man went into a pub,asked for a scotch,drank it and got up to leave.The barman yelled,"Hey,where's my money?"
"I paid you,"the man insisted and walked out.Then another man came in,drank a scotch and did the same thing.When a third man entered and ordered a scotch,the barman told him,"Two men just came in and asked for scotch just like you,then left,saying they'd paid.Whar do you think about that?"
"Stop babbling,"muttered the third man,"and give me my change."

9.Babysitter to parents:"By the way,I promised Amy that if she went to bed without any fuss you'd buy her a horse in the morning."

10.A sales manager complained to a colleague about one of his salesmen."George is so forgetful it's a wonder he can sell anything.I asked him to get me a sandwich while he's out for lunch,but I'm not sure he'll even remember to come back."
Just then the door flew open and in came George."You'll never guess what happened,"he exclaimed."At lunch,I met the head of one of the biggest firms in the country.We got talking and he gave me an order worth $15 million!"
"See,"said the sales manager."I told you he'd forget the sandwich."

MUET TEST

I sat for 3 papers of MUET which include writing,listening and comprehension this morning.Pretty ok for all the papers except for summary writing.I had spent 15 minutes only for the summary writing which might cause me to flunk it easily.Dunno whether my sixth sense was accurate or not in such an inadequate period.:(Frankly speaking,I always depend on my instinct to score well in summary writing.:P.So hopefully,it would work this time.For the essay writing part,I had written 5 pages with space in between lines which was not a recommended and proper way to complete writing paper(Caution:Don't Try This Action During MUET Test As It Might Make You Lose Unnecessary Marks).For the listening paper,it seemed like my brain was rather blurred or my ears were stucked with ear-plugs(juz crapping),I just heard of a mumble of indistinct conversations.But luckily,I could answer them well and without much mistakes(or all correct I guess:P)hehe..For the comprehension paper,I think I could answer most of the questions precisely.:PNot to mention there was a spider who had scared me 5 minutes before the end of my comprehension paper.It landed on my head "safely" and crawled on my table randomly.I t had assaulted me indirectly.sob.sob.sob(juz kidding) So overall,I think I could manage all the questons well.:P
After finishing the last paper which is listening paper,I had planned a hangout with my schoolmates and teaching school's frens in a shopping mall.But the stewpid and unforgiven dark-skinned thieves had stolen my happiness and relaxed hours indirectly.They had also plundered possessions of my cousin and her family.Haiz...too bad...Those cretinuous and feather-brained had ruined my flawless plan.ERRGGHHHHH!!!!!They had spoilt my opportunity to gather with my maktab's frens and widen my social circle.Errghhh.I was made compulsory to comfort and calm them due to their great loss.So I had to cancelled my outing plan.Haiz....I am still disgruntled for missing that hangout as they had watched Corpse Bride(which is a touching movie for the Halloween Day according to my fren who had weeped for the whole movie and was made a laughing stock by her classmates) that day...sob.sob.sob....
Later that night,I had a reunion with my Alma Mater's schoolmates(which are Standard Three Skippers specifically) and a former form teacher.She is still charming and benevolent like before.I was late for the reunion due to a sudden visit by my dad's customer.Really feel remorse and abashed for that..haiz....But we had a great time that night as we had many conversation topics due to my fren's dexterous communication skills.blah...She also served us with mouth-watering and not-too-sweet dessert that night.Pretty looking forward to the gathering next time.hehe..Her sons sent me to my relative's home after the gathering.They are pretty great conversationalists as we had chatted alot on education(specifically on biology-based field as one of them is majoring in pure biology in USM KL while the other one is majoring in pharmacy in UCSI).It had enhanced my cognizance on biology and the scholarship system of UCSI which I had rejected its scholarship this year.haha....
Well.I think I should end my long-winded conversation with u now...feel drowsy and lethargic now...wanna have a date with Sleeping Beauty right now(juz being crappy)....so see ya..sleep tight..sweet dreams...tk gd care and God bless...hehe..

My Review on Kyumei Byoto 24 Ji 3(Episode 2)

I watched Kyumei Byoto 24 Ji 3 (Emergency Room 24 Hours 3) today on 8tv.It is a famous japanese drama not only covers life in the ER,but the human side of doctors and their love for family.It has potrayed the miserable life in Tokyo after the heart of Japan is doomed of earthquake of scale 7.I am really touched by Dr. Shindo's and Dr. Kaedo's undivided dedication to the wretched survivors of the catastrophe albeit they are worried about their closed ones simultaneously.They manage to manipulate their complicated emotion well when they are confronting with the same concern and problems just like other victims and yet could perform surgeries on seriously injured patients in calm and "cool" manner.I really admire Dr. Kaedo's determination to stay back in the hospital to rescue other victims though she is also worried abotu her fiance when most of the doctors and hospital staff leave the hospital immediately as they are worried about their family members.It would be difficult for her to endure such condition when she has to concentrate in saving other victims.That marvellous drama has really made me have the urge to become a doctor in future abruptly.Haha.Frankly speaking,I used to oppose to conventional medicine before watching this drama as I think conventional medicine has brought many adverse effects to most of the patients.But I have changed my mind on conventional medicine from now onwards.Haha.Nevertheless,I still maintain my full support to alternative medicine and I strongly believe that maybe there will be a efficacious combination between alternative and conventional medicine appearing in future to heal all human beings' diseases effectively.Only Heaven knows.:P

MY VERY FIRST ENCOUTER WITH MUET SPEAKING TEST

Dearest Bloggy,
Hi,Bloggy.How r u doing?Really missed ur companion during the exam period...I have lotsa feeling and thoughts that I wanna share and confide to you.....
My MUET exam turned out to be pretty smooth as I had gone thru lotsa practices everyday before the sitting for the speaking test(more than 20 times if I'm not mistaken)...but frankly speaking I'm not sure whether I could get excellent marks for the test or not because I was kinda stammering and repeating a few points after finishing my points before the allocated time...Let me tell you what I had gone thru before entering the exam room....
Firstly,we were told to sign the exam slips and other doucments as well.Then, we waited patiently in the discussion room.While waiting in the room,we were having a little chit-chat to "warm-up" as we didn't want to have "cold situation" (which is translated directly from mandarin)during the real speaking test...We were kinda urging or more like "begging" the first "unfortunate" group to speak louder especially the famous female soprano in our school in order to give us some "tips" on the question came out.Hehe...
Meanwhile, I was discussing secret strategies and tactics with my group members such as giving hints like shaking her pen when someone had finished her points....Then,I thought of the problem of having emergency like out of vocabulary during the speaking test.I suggested that we could vibrate the pen vigorously in order to ask for SOS.haha.Everyone started to comment on my proposal and gave lotsa harsh critiques.:(
Actually,I was making fun all the way during the "detention" period in order to de-stress my pals.Yea.Another interesting event that I would like to share with you.One of my group members(a prefect) and the Head Boy of my school were trying to eavesdrop on the first group's conversation by "sticking" their ears to the door in order to be more "well-prepared".haha.I couldn't believe that they had actually "ruined" the well-maintained image of so-called "disciplinary pioneers".haha.But their effort seem to go vain as we couldn't even listen to the sound of dropping needle out there...
Another group member of mine was having hydrochloric acid flown from her stomach to her throat I guess as she was sitting on the tenterhooks.I tried to calm her down and I think she had performed well in her speaking exam.
Well,I guess my group had performed pretty well during the speaking exam as we didn't have "cold situation" and we had tried our best to touch on every aspects as told by my MUET tuition teacher.hehe.That's all for my MUET speaking test.Nothing much to say about it.Hmmm...I might tell you other funny events during the test if only they coruscate thru my mind someday....Sorry...I might be crappy a little bit today...OK..I'm gonna end my crappy monologue as soon as possible today to prevent myself from having schizophrenic..hahahaha..

My Ultimate Obssession To Ghibli's Animations



Dear Bloggy,

I'm really delirious with joy today.I have finally bought a Chu Totoro as my handphone's latest attachment.It's not a normal handphone's accessory like I had before.It's the best handphone's appendage that I could ever have in my life.You couldn't believe how extreme I fanatic about Ghibli's incredible masterpieces and all its goods.I have collected almost all the piece de resistance of Hayao Miyazaki,who is one of the greatest animators and directors in Japan,or WORLD and I would say he deserves that title the most if compared with other animators.His magnum opuses have recalled my sweet childhood memories whenever I watch them.In addition,they have also indubitably unveiled the authentic and deepest part of my heart(which is childlike,innocent,angelic,....) :p whenever I watch them.Sometimes,they make me repentent for the puerile actions that I had commited when I was young and naive.Sometimes,they also make me laugh like a drain when the characters in the animation act like the way I was when I was small.They have really made my day brighter and lighter when I am in bad mood. There is an intangible force that spur me and encourage me to be a better and obesient person whenever I watch the animantions.I really love them from the bottom of my heart.

I am currently trying to gather as many goods as possible.They are indisputably worthwhile to be collected.Haha.I couldn't bear the temptation of them whenever I see them displayed on the racks.But when it comes to buy them,I'll ponder twice before getting them home.After all,I'm a rational person as their prices are really expensive due to their identity of imported products,especially from Japan.Besides that,they are all genuine and original goods.There are no pirated versions of them available in Malaysia.Haha.I don't mean that I will buy the pirated version of Ghibli's stuff if they are sold in Malaysia.

I could still vividly recollect that I had told my friends that I hope that I would like to have the largest Totoro's in the shop as a present for my good achievement in SPM on the day before the result was released.I had also told my cousins about my wish when we were celebrating my success in getting good result.But till today,nobody seems to fulfill my little dream.It's not that I am not willing or I dont have the money to own such a dear Totoro.Instead,I hope that I would get it as a grant for my diligence and assiduity.It would be more meaningful if I get it with my own punctillio and devotion in my studies.I hope that my message will be clearly passed to my friends and relatives.wink*Haha.Hope that no one will disappoint me again.wink*Haha.

Hmmm....I think that's all for today.Hope that you will have a nice day,dude.



P/S:I sincerely hope that you will deliver my little request distinctly to my friends,relatives or even Santa Claus .Haha.Hope that I won't be disillusioned again this time.:p