Dear Bloggy,

I would like to apologize here...to everyone tat hv been putting so much effort in supporting me,praying hard for me,doing everything for me....Honto ni gomenasai...for didnt reach ur expectations..somehow,I wonder how should I face my relatives,family members,frens n even siblings...I couldnt reach their expectation...really sorry...esp my GB(K)...I was even hiding frm them,frm their qs,frm greeting them,frm meeting them face to face...I would rather to be hiding frm them forever than seeing disappointment on their faces...am I stupid?It seems like I'm living to reach others' expectations.....sometimes,I even feel izzit worthy for me to be like tat?is tat the kind of life tat would lead me till the end of my breath?Shd I chart my own path?Or I juz wait patiently for the arrival of God's arrangement?I was confused during the arrival of rejection letter...It wasnt the first time...n yea...I expected I had done better than last year...perhaps it's destined by God?or it was juz another test for me by God?I was rather perplexed...n yet sad...I tried to study hard...to forget everything..but could I?It was indeed a hard period for me esp during term exam...I forced myself to study harder...to replace the regret n disappointment tat I had "granted" to them....staying back at skool library everyday to do revision...didnt switch on my hp...scared tat I would receive msges frm them...I was like "shutting" off my heart tat time...

Hmm..luckily I got LB(C)'s advices...he's indeed a potential councellor....like a father n a mother to me...hehe....anyway,I'm feeling better nowadays..at least didnt get the scholarship isnt the Armageddon of my world...still hv other routes...I guess God wont "shut" all the roads for me...I strongly believe:"when He shuts one door of urs,He would definitely open another route for u...."=)